My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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