do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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