he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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