I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
