Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
