i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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