You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
a search helicopter?!
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
