I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
