I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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