Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
