Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize