My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
