By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
