oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
