It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
