Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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