I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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