You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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