Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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