Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
