she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i just google imaged poop.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
