Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Damn victory sex feels great
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
