Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
