You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So apparently I’m into choking now
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
