Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
