He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
