I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize