Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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