It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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