Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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