You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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