I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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