a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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