batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize