She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
