I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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