No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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