She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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