Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize