apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
