i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
