Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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