I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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