brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
