Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I think people are normalizing furries
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
