I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
