I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
