I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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