is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
