I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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