After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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