Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize