dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
