I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
