pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She made me pour olive oil on her.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
