so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
