I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
