I wanna passion pit in your ass
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
