How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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