bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
