last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
